Find tips on how to be a great grandmother. When you visit, heed these suggestions: Try not to stay more than a few days. Do not interrupt the household routine. Do not take command of the house or the children. Make yourself helpful. Seek new and novel activities, events, and ways to connect.
Pursue unique and uncommon opportunities to get together, play together, wonder together, learn, laugh, and love others together. When with grandchildren, be present not preoccupied or plugged in. Genuinely listen, respond, react to the unique piece of you in your presence. When apart, ensure grandkids know how to reach you by phone, email, regular mail, and social networks as appropriate.
Additional grandmothers and others — and parents, of course — loom large in the lives of beloved grands. Sometimes more often, more prominently, more locally than you. And give them space; children are free to be a bit less restrained when they're with you.
After all, they have parents to tell them off all the time. Every time you see them, give them a big hug and let them know that you love them and they are safe with you. Though you can criticize their behavior occasionally if they misbehave in your presence, you should focus on being a source of joy and positivity. Still, you should go easy on your grandchildren and focus on praising them and letting them know how special they are. Be specific when you praise them. Saying "I love how you said thank you to Mrs.
James," rather than "I love how polite you are" will keep the child from having an undermining thought like, "Oh Grandma doesn't know how mean I was to Sally yesterday.
Remember birthdays. On their birthday, buy them presents that are thoughtful but not overdone. Sometimes give them what they ask for; other times put a little surprise in the wrapping paper that they didn't expect. Write them a card letting them know how much they mean to you in addition to giving them a gift.
Just make sure to check in with the parents before giving the grandchild a gift. That could make for an awkward birthday. Be affectionate. Another way to show your love to your grandchildren is to shower them with affection. Give them hugs and kisses, put your arm around them, play with their hair, or just give them a reassuring touch to show them that you care. When you sit next to them, pat their knee or their hand, or just get close to show your love to them.
As they get older, they may not be open to as much affection, but you should make a point of showering them with love. Be a source of love and warmth to your grandchildren, so they know that they can come to you when they need comfort. Listen to your grandchildren. Take the time to hear what they have to say, and to listen to every word without interrupting.
Make eye contact and let them know how much you care without giving advice until they ask for it. Be affectionate when they talk to you. Put an arm around them or place a hand on their knee to reassure them. Spoil your grandkids a little. You already went through parenthood and had to work on disciplining your children.
Now, you can relax a little and focus on having fun with your grandkids. Though some rules will need to be enforced, especially if your grandkids stay with you for a prolonged period of time, such as a summer vacation, you should work on giving your grandkids treats, making them feel special, and even letting them have that extra cookie once in a while. They should come to you for love, not to have you lay down the law.
Find a way to make both your grandchildren and their parents happy. Part 3. Your child and his or her spouse may have some different ideas about how to raise children, and they may not want to hear every little thing you have to say about the subject.
If you give the parents too much advice, they may pull back from you, leading to a more tense relationship between you and your grandchild. Focus more on giving love, care, and support. Maintain your own life. You may think that you should drop everything as soon as your grandson or granddaughter arrives, but the best thing you can do is to maintain your own life while helping out the parents of the grandchild as much as you can.
You want to continue having your own friends, your own social commitments, and your own hobbies if you want to succeed as a grandparent. If you drop absolutely everything to be with your grandchild, then you will be putting too much pressure on the parents. Find a way to fit spending time with your grandchildren into your schedule without making your schedule entirely revolve around your grandchildren and the whims of their parents.
Help the parents out around the house. You can wash dishes, pick up groceries, occasionally cook meals, or run small errands for the father or the mother when you have time. While being around during family activities, celebrations, or trips can give them a helping hand, you can also find some time to be alone with your grandchild or grandchildren so that their parents can have some time to go out to dinner together or just to relax without their usual responsibilities for a little while.
Grandparent time out may sound like a joke, but to the grandparents who are penalized, it's very real. Instead of having to sit on a stair step for 10 minutes, some grandparents are being separated from their grandchildren for weeks or even months at a time.
Their misdemeanors range from not following the parents' rules to offering unsolicited advice. Check out how to avoid grandparent time out here! Something about having to share grandchildren can bring out the wolf in the gentlest grandma.
Maybe it's just that our time with our grands tends to be limited, so we work up a genuine dislike for anything — or anyone — that cuts into our time. Having to share with the other grandparents can be particularly hard.
Still, such feelings are unworthy of the values that we want to pass on to our grandchildren, and family drama isn't on anyone's list of favorite things. Check out all the tips for keeping the peace with other grandparents here! Many people can say they're a grandmother, but actually being a good one is an entirely different ball game. From unconditionally supportive to a loving and trusted listener, there are certain things you want to "be" to maintain a strong relationship with your grandkids through the years.
Check out how to deepen your bond with your grandchildren here!
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